My friends nicknamed me “The Bible Says…”
While I took that to be a compliment, they didn’t really mean it that way.
People say kids can be mean, and well, another reality of life is that single young adults can be poignant. Some might even say singles can be petty.
How the nickname was borned
I was living my best life in my mid to late twenties. I found a local church community I loved being a part of. What made this community so great for me was that I finally found a group of Christian peers to live life with.
During the first half of my twenties, I reconciled my walk with God. This was great timing because, as a college student, I needed the spiritual reinforcement… I had a Christian renaissance. The growth was exciting, and learning was addictive. I loved the way my spiritual life took shape during my early twenties. However, these years were also marked by a lack of deep, true friends who were the same age as me. The reason for this was that my church was primarily made up of families, and there was no young adult ministry.
So when I finally found myself in a group of friends in my late twenties who were single, professionals, and Christian, I felt I made it. At first, the friendships were intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough time to hangout. I am a social butterfly, so I was in an extrovert’s heaven every time we would hangout. And then, slowly, I started to notice the disparities. The main one being that I was considered too Bible-focused.
Any time a situation would present itself and the group would be welcomed to chime in, without fail or hesitation, I would always start off by saying, “The Bible says…” You would think that was a good thing. But the more comfortable I became with my friends, the more Biblically opinionated I became. And hence, the nickname was born.
Latin Americans are gifted with the ability to nickname anything and anyone. We don’t even mean offense by it. It’s just in our nature to be jokesters, and humor is our primary love language. We are wonderfully funny that way. So, being surrounded by a group of Latin American friends and getting christened with my very own nickname felt normal.
Ultimately, getting a reputation for always quoting the Bible was great. But being resented for being Biblically opinionated was not.
Learning to communicate with grace
Good thing we live and learn and evolve. I can say without a doubt that while I still hold on to my Bible knowledge, I share it more wisely. I had to learn how to apply the Bible with grace to situations. It took time. It took some disappointments, heartaches, and failures to learn how to feel and empathize with complicated sets of emotions. I had to allow others to teach me how to be a good listener. I had to train myself to talk less. I had to be open to the feedback AND the criticism. And yes, it was hard.
As a result of all the years of learning, I no longer prescribe the Bible like a dose of unwanted medicine. I have grown to be more sensitive and attuned to listening to others and picking up on clues and cues as to what is needed or wanted from me in a conversation. This means I don’t always show up with answers. I bring my curiosity and lead with questions. And yes! I am 794 degrees (on a scale of 0-1,000) less outwardly opinionated. I still have opinions (as we all do), it’s just I’ve learned not to always share them.
So communicating with grace means I don’t always show up with an agenda. I show up ready to create space. I show up ready to find the common ground and connect.
Launching Singles in the Bible Meetups
It is with this understanding of communicating with grace that I am establishing Singles in the Bible.
Honestly, I have consumed too much content around singleness, dating, and relationships. I would do it under the guise of research for Singles Unanimous. At times, I found the content to be educational. Other times, it was contradictory. And at its worst, I felt a lot of content disparages singleness.
In my consumption of content, I realized that while there’s a lot of good teachings out there, there are very few voices that direct and encourage people to seek Biblical wisdom.
As Christians, I believe we are called to live according to Biblical principles. We may not be able to apply the Bible literally to some situations or life experiences. And yet, the Bible is meant to guide us in our walks of life.
So, the question I pose is this:
What would it look like if we went to the Bible for wisdom on living single and dating?
I hope that we will be able to have open and honest conversations. That we will find encouragement. And connect with like minded people along the way.
Singles in the Bible meetups will be held on the third Saturday of every month. In person, in the greater Cincinnati area.
Will you join me?
To learn about upcoming meetups, check out the Events page.
P.S. Human intelligence was used to write this post.
Sincerely,
Jarissa
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